OneSpirit Interfaith Minister
Reverend Phil Parkinson
Internments and Memorials
The interring - the scattering or placing in the ground - of your loved one's ashes is a highly significant moment in the process of letting go of and coming to terms with their death. For some this will be a private act, while for others it is ideally marked by a short cremony to give a voice to your inmost thoughts and bless your chosen place to make it a special, even sacred, place you can return to, forever dedicated to your ongoing love and the remembered times with your loved one.
Photograph courtesy of www.billrevill.com
After the shock and paralysis of losing a loved one has passed, holding a loving and tender memorial service, perhaps on their birthday or anniversary, can be an affirming way of dealing with your feeling and memories. It could also mark the movement of your grief process from the stages of anger, denial, guilt and depression, into one of acceptance. Allowing such very difficult feelings to pass can then let the happy memories return, and in their returning allow you to re-engage with life and maybe even move on to a new stage. In doing this, grief is turned into grace: letting go allows not only your loved one in some sense to move on, but also a space to open in yourself for something new to enter without the past being either forgotten or ignored.
The creating of a sacred ceremony in which to honour your loved one for who they really were is a way of connecting to them through the part of both of you which transcends even death itself, the ultimate power of Love.